I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
that frustrating time when your friends finally start reading your favorite book or watching your favorite tv show, but all you wanna do is tell them all these spoilers and begin fangirling / fanboying with them and you just sorta have to restrain yourself and
all bugs can be organized into one of three categories: homies, chillers, and haters. hornets and wasps are haters. mosquitos are haters. most spiders are homies cuz they eat shitty bugs, some spiders are chillers cuz they dont really do anything, but also some spiders are…
apparently in holland they were trying to do the world record for the longest domino chain and then a bird came in an knocked 23,000 of them over… then they shot the bird and got fined because it was an endangered species. if one story has described my life as much as this story has, i’d like to hear it.